I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
