How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
