I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
