i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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