I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
