thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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