I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
high people should be assigned attendants
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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