Your mouth is God's brothel.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize
