I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
