Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I cannot find my penis.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
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