Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
