In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He's on the porch naked. Help.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
