guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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