the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
