who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
