sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
