Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
