If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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