I murdered the dance floor call the cops
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
