Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
