Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
