The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
