Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
