I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
