I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
