the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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