Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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