if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
