thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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