No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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