Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
