U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
