I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Walk of Shame today included voting.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
