The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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