Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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