Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
