i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
