he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
