Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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