i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
