Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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