i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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