do herpes really smell.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
