You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
