That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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