Plan B is the new Plan A
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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