I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
it hurts more in the daytime
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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