And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
