Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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