I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
