Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
