spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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