the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
it's like iHOP with fire
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
