I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
