you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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