It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
