Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
