I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize